Environment plays a huge part in my mental health. I need to be in a place that feels like home and near people who are family. I don’t do well in crowded conditions.
Guess what? Where I am now is all the things that make me anxious and stressed and ultimately does harm to my mental health. It’s fantastic for many millions who love living and working here. It sucks for me. Even the house I live in makes me feel uncomfortable, gloomy and unhappy.
Tucson felt like home. Phoenix would work as well.
The first step to going back though, is finding a job for my partner. A decent paying job that is just challenging enough without being soul sucking. No more defense contracting. Actually, no contact work at all. Stability and security.
I want this to happen soon. No, wait. It needs to happen soon. I don’t know how much longer I can hold together.