Mental Health Month

is over.  Done.  I spent much of it in a sort of mental health haze of low-level depression and lack of motivation with some lovely dips into deep depression and paralyzing indecision, fear and doubt.  Fun times.

So that month is over.  What will June bring?  Warmer weather certainly.  It’s regularly been in the 100s here. I imagine it will start heading towards 110 pretty soon.  Plus monsoons!  Yay!

I still haven’t heard any decision on the disability claim.  Sent back a ton of paperwork though.  I know it took me a while to complete so I imagine it is being reviewed closely and carefully.

I was going to take a couple of classes this summer to occupy my mind but my mind is pre-occupied and unfocused and stuff.  And things.

The world continues to be a mess.  Reading the news fills me with despair, rage, sadness and makes me feel powerless.  Though there are bits that are somewhat hopeful.  People taking stands and resisting and fighting back.  I do what I can.  I write to my reps and state my opinions.  I sign petitions and pass along fundraising for causes I think are worthy.   I actually donated $5 because I felt so fucking impotent.  It was all I had to give and I hope it helps.  I think groups like SPLC, ACLU, PP and others are fighting for me and I should support them as I am able.

Plus, Sense8 was canceled. It was a show that filled me with hope and wonder.  I am sad I won’t get to see the whole story.   WoW doesn’t hold my interest anymore.  I log on and run around a bit and then sigh and log off.   Maybe I’ll go play Neverwinter or SWTOR or GW2 or Tropico.  Yeah, Tropico.  I can be a benevolent dictator and create my own city.

My booster campaign to raise money for NAMI was a bust.  ~sigh~

My campaign to help me with copays and the like and other debt is still running here:  A Helping Hand  or if you wish to help keep me writing:  Tip Jar

I need to go see a dentist but the copays for dental work plus the thought of the work I need done overwhelms me with anxiety whenever I try to look for a dentist and make an appointment.  I’m still working on it and will get there.   Bleh.  Need to get a fasting blood draw.  I was supposed to get follow up labs last month but somehow May evaporated.  Time sure goes wonky when you are depressed.

Thanks for reading this far.  I’m totally rambling now and could ramble forever but I’ll sign off for now.

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Author: desertdragon42

I am a science fiction fan. I read it, I watch it, I breathe it, I go to conventions to hang out with others like me. I met my fannish family at my first Worldcon in 1995 in Glasgow. I've been smitten ever since. Just your typical bi pagan poly sf/f fan gamer geek! I have an amazing group of friends and chosen family flung all across the US and the world.

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